did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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