well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
