you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
