everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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