Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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