who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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