I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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