You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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