I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
