I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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