Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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