I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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