I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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