highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
