Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize