Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
