NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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