is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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