Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
