my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
