i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
