We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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