What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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