My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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