i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
