there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
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