apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize