he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
