VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
