Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
