I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize