perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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