I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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