i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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