My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
