I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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