i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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