i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just pee around me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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