I'm going to jail i love you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
