three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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