K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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