I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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