its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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