What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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