is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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