new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
