This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
