When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
