You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize