Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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