I'm drive I can fine osifer
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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