you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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