I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
