his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
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I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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