it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
