Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
