I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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