All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
