He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
