Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
