she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
