maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
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I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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